just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
foreskin is a definite game changer
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
