Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
