pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize