Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
