forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
