I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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