Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
