she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Randomize
