she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
is that a dick in a sweater?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
