This girl is more easily done than said...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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