after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
two words: eviction party
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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