I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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