come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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