Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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