Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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