Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
