Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
