There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
