i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize