Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
