after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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