if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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