is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
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