it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
