dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
