In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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