Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
