Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
