i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
