Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
