Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
