I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
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