so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
