i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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