This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
