it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
