apparently the secret to your success is patron
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
