You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
