my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
