uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Its about making memories worth repressing
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
