He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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