I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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