i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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