i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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