i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
