I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
