trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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