One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
