So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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