I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
