Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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