she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
