you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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