FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
