So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
