Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
