There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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