What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
