walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
