ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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