is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
